THE ART OF NON ATTACHMENT

    It's difficult not to feel angry or heavy hearted when we see those around us making terrible mistakes in their lives. It is never easy when we see a friend or loved one change before our eyes, and become something other than the good person we always thought they were. It seems that for most of our lives, our states of mind and mood are dictated by the actions and words of others. But there is a way that we can safeguard ourselves against the negative impact of such circumstances. And that way is through non attachment. In Buddhism, we are taught to love others and be kind, but also not to be so concerned with what they are doing or the choices that they make. We are taught that our own life is the only one that we can truly change. We are told to focus on the moment, and be present. We are not to be so focused on the people around us that it pulls us out of our own inner peace and present moment. It takes some practice to develop this kind of mindset where we love others deeply, but are not affected by their actions or poor choices; but it can be done. You can become more of the observer of life, rather than a character who has a part to play in someone else's drama. To develop this kind of non attachment we must practice it moment by moment in our day. A good exercise is to imagine yourself as being transparent. The negative actions of others pass through you rather than find a place to lodge within your heart or mind. By doing this, overtime, you'll begin to realize that you are not being so dragged down by the things that other people do or do not do in your environment. But we also must remember, that non attachment is not having the mindset of just not caring what other people do. It is caring, and helping when and where we can. It is just not letting ourselves become emotionally wounded or burdened by the actions of others.